UNLEASHING THE TIGER IN YOU

Hitting the spherical golf ball in a 3metre hole has proven to be one of the lucrative sports in the world and playing this game as a profession can positively or negatively affect your bank balance. The majority that play the game for fun has claimed that it is the convergent or congregation of the wealthy, even the non-affluent are opportuned to rub few shoulders with the affluent that converge to play this game. For the outstanding professionals in the world, there is no doubt of the influence on their bank account. Phil Mickelson earned over $1.17m by winning the US Masters at Augusta while the Philanthropist-Tiger Woods has earned more than a whopping $40m in official prize money as a professional and over $60m in endorsements and appearance fees. Interviewing one of the hobby players, he said, “Never play the game if you’re not rich-golf can send you to the shacks”. Thinking of enrolling in a golf course, a seven day membership can cost over 9000rands ($1300), purchasing the equipment and kits for the game can be hilarious-obviously one will need a better equipment to surface with the likes of top parastatals in the playing field. A glove can cost up to R900rands ($130), a towel at 150rands ($21), the top of the range Titleist Pro VI balls at 200rands ($30) for a sleeve of three, a Nike or Adidas cap, top or shorts to be like Phil or Tiger for 400rands ($60) and then tickets to watch professionals play can range from 1500rands ($215)

Not only does this game affect your bank balance, it will definitely increase your popularity if you’re a pro in the game and friends will incessantly increase just like inflation. Recently Tiger Woods has been embroiled or linked in a sex saga with a few number of women in which he confessed his infidelity to the wife-Elin. His ordeal started on November 27 after hitting a tree outside his home with reports claiming that the wife man-handled the gentleman and left him no choice but to run for his life. Tiger unequivocally reported that this was a mere accident. Two days after, US tabloid and gossip magazines made its ways to unleash the Tiger in the woods- revealing the series of extra-marital relationship linked to Tiger Woods. Woods now find himself at odds with Afro American ladies calling for his head after it was revealed that the ladies linked to the sex scandal were not blacks but whites. This makes them feel inferior that Tiger did not find them (blacks) attractive to satisfy him and Tiger’s billions gets enjoyed or controlled by whites and not blacks. Race issue snowballs its way into Tiger’s life-Tiger is a racist! Afro ladies convict you-Tiger!

A saying goes that in good times-friends stay, in bad times-they disappear. Tiger Woods has lost major sponsors with Accenture and few others distancing themselves just like Jesus at his crucifixion was distanced by his disciples according to the scriptures. Tiger was quoted as saying, “it may not be possible to repair the damage I’ve done but I want to do my best to try”. That’s Tiger talking- of course not all problems can be solved but all problems can be manipulated in one way or the other. Sponsors convict you-Tiger!

The fun loving part of this ordeal was when I inserted Tiger on the Google search engine on the 17th December, a headline surfaced, “Tiger Woods has bookies betting on the Elin divorce settlement: Wager on cash but not affairs”. Now the report states that these wagers are based on how much money Elin is expected to receive after the dust settles and after the court decides. People are putting small bets probably so they can have a giggle in the pub and show their mate a betting slip,” Rupert Adams, spokesman for William Hill said. It states that the best moment is still ahead because one other great bet would be putting your money on how many women Tiger shagged or how many women come into play regarding the whole Tiger story. Casinos and betting world convict you-Tiger!

Now where does this leave our handsome Tiger? One advice for Tiger would be, if they all desert and convict you, leave the Afros in America, go to Bahamas for your Christmas holiday and come over to South Africa because blacks love you here. We will obviously fight hard to enrol you on a golf course in Bellville, Mowbray or Milnerton, alternatively your likes enrol in Sun City-so we’ll make sure you’re there and will definitely beckon on your adoring fans to sponsor you. At least we are all alive because you love us and have not unleashed the Tiger in you.

Good luck Tiger!